MMDA's new office, TTMO

(Note to non-Filipino readers: some word play here about TTMO which has a funny meaning in Filipino language. Just having some fun in these cloudy and rainy days)

A friend posted in one of my discussion groups, the existence of a new office of the The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) called the Traffic & Transport Management Office or TTMO.

I posted it in my facebook status, many Filipino friends had a great time laughing at it. One asked if it's a real office or just a joke. Well, it's true, it has 2,800+ staff under the MMDA, check here:
http://www.gov.ph/2010/08/06/mmda-memorandum-circular-no-05-series-of-2010/

And here comes the jokes! Below are my own inventions:

1. Conversation between MMDA traffic officers and traffic violating motorists:

Male motorist: Ser, pasensya na, nagmamadali lang po.
MMDA officer: Matigas ulo mo eh, punta ka sa TTMO!

Female motorist: Eh, saan ko kukunin lisensya ko?
MMDA officer: Sa TTMO, ma'am.
Female motorist: Bastos! Walang modo, gago!

Gay motorist who has sex-changed: Eh, saan ko kukunin lisensya ko?
MMDA officer: Sa TTMO, ma'am.
Gay motorist: Ayy, wala na ako nyan, matagal ko na pinatanggal.

2. Cconversation between two MMDA staff:
Guy: Saan ka punta?
Girl: Sa TTMO.

3. In a Congressional Committee hearing, the Committee Chairperson, a Congressman, started the meeting:
Cong: So, Ms. Committee Secretary, where are our guests today coming from?
Comm Sec.: TTMO, Sir.
Cong.: What? Are you cursing or insulting me?
Comm Sec. No sir! TTMO talaga!
Cong: #@*%#@!! Call the House Sec. Gen.!
Comm Sec.: TTMO guys, can you please explain your office to the Comm. Chairperson? (hikbi!)

More jokes:

a) from Philip Baguisa:

The enforcers also say: "Magreport ka sa TTMO."
Or the the violators say, "Pakialam ko sa TTMO."
All MMDA trafic enforcers are now Alagad ng TTMO.
Sagwa ng address, TTMO, Makati....

b) from Popo:

MMDA will create a sub-office under TTMO, to be called Secondary Unit Philippine Official Traffic -- TTMO-SUPOT

c) from Leo R.

MMDA might create a special traffic agency for the New Year, the Traffic & Transport New Year Office – TTNYO

Or a Traffic & Transport Economics Office - TTECO

Hahahahaha!!!