Weekend Fun 76, Drunk politicians and other professionals

Many of these stories and punchlines are old, not my original stories. Some of these I tweaked, so enjoy :-)
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1. Arsonist -- a man with a burning ambition.
Drunk Arsonist – thinks he is electricity, he lights up buildings.

2. Politician – can get money from the rich and votes from the poor on the pretext of protecting one from the other.
Drunk Politician – can spot trouble, diagnose it incorrectly and apply all the wrong solutions. 

3. Mathematician --  can discuss infinity without end.
Drunk Mathematician – drinks then derives. 

4. Statistician – can show that numbers are like bikini: what they reveal is interesting but what they conceal is vital.
Drunk Statistician -- his head is on ice and feet on fire and says that on average, he is fine.

5. Physicist – can discuss gravity endlessly which put people down.
Drunk Physicist – can split an atom into proton and electron, lost the latter and reported that proton has Covid, it is positive.

6. Economist -- dangerous when he declares, "watch our invisible hand."
Drunk economist -- researching on alcohol’s law of diminishing marginal utility.
Unemployed economist -- understands the charts and graphs why he's on unemployment insurance.

7. IATF (PH) Officials -- decide what type of lockdown the Philippines will have.
Drunk IATF Officials -- differentiate lockdown types like this...

Happy weekend.
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See also:
Weekend Fun 73, Russia vaccine, ECQ, August 15, 2020 
Weekend Fun 74, CNN as the US' "Baghdad Bob", August 29, 2020
Weekend Fun 75, Lockdown, inflation, climate memes, April 02, 2021.