Weekend fun 23: Economist Jokes

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS

1. Economists do it with models.
2. They are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
3. They can supply it on demand.
4. You can talk about money without having to make any.
5. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
6. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out. (so did gary lising, jon santos and the guy who created dilbert)
7. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
8. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
9. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
10. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

"I'd rather be vaguely right than precisely wrong."
- J.M.Keynes; Found in Forbes magazine 01/25/1999 issue.
In the Numbers Game column by Bernard Cohen
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Three professionals -- a physicist, an engineer, and an economist -- survived a plane crash and went to a small island, ala Robinson Crusoe (?) island, nothing much to eat there nor are there other islands with people to trade with. Luckily they got several boxes of canned food that also fell from the plane, but they got no can opener. So the natural challenge is how to open the cans so they can eat.

Engineer improvised wooden sticks to open the cans, fail.
Physicist used fire and heat (rubbing stones to produce fire, etc.) to melt the can and hope it will open, fail.
Economist's turn, he said, "Let's assume that the cans are open."
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In front of St. Peter were 3 souls.
St. Peter to soul 1, "What's your IQ? soul 1 said "300!". St. Peter said, "Great! we can discuss Einstein's theory of relativity and Svensmark's Sun-GCRs-climate theory. Wait for me on that door.

Same question to soul 2, the latter replied "200!". St. Peter said, "Good! we can discuss about reptiles, amphibians and dinosaurs. Wait for me on that door.

Same question to soul 3, the latter replied "100". St. Peter said, "So what do you think will happen to the Phils. budget deficit next year?"
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Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a sense of humour.

Q:Why did God create economists ?
A:In order to make weather forecasters look good.

Q: Why did the economist cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.

Q. What does an economist do?
A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.

Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, "How's your wife?" The other responds, "Relative to what?" To an economist, real life is a special case.
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See also Weekend fun 22: Functions and equations, September 17, 2011

Weekend fun 13: Economics of stimulus package

This story went around in some email loops for sometime...

How a stimulus package works

It was a slow day in the small Texas town of CutnShoot , and streets are deserted. Times are tough; everybody is in debt and living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything... However, the whole town is now out of debt and looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a "stimulus package" works.

Should be fun. But I notice there is a disconnect somewhere which renders the "logic" or conclusion invalid, here's how.

The one on the Co-op guy, he owes $200, not just $100: $100 to the prostitute + $100 to the hotel room owner. If the prosti aggreed that she'll get $100 for her services but she will also pay the hotel room, then her net income is zero even if she produced a certain service.

Thus, the statement "no one produced anything" is wrong, the prosti did produce a service.

Uggh, it's supposed to be a weekend fun, so here's more.

A small plane crashed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Luckily there were 3 survivors: a physicist, an engineer, and an economist. They swam their way to a very small island with nothing to eat. Lucky for them several boxes of canned food were brought by the waves to the same island. Problem -- how to open the cans as they don't have any can opener or other sharp tools.

Physicist started rubbing stones hoping to produce fire, soften the can and open it with some sharp stones -- fail.

Engineer used some hard and pointed tree branches to open the can -- fail.

Economist's turn, the two guys looked upon him. Then he said, "Let us assume that the cans are open." :-)