Life is like a bikini, it is brief.
Statistics are like bikini. What they reveal is interesting but what they conceal is vital.
Statistics are like bikini. What they reveal is interesting but what they conceal is vital.
Bahasa Malaysia is the official language of Malaysia.
Bahasa Pilipinas is what happens after heavy rains. -- from Raffy Aquino
Bahasa Pilipinas is what happens after heavy rains. -- from Raffy Aquino
Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to
the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a good sense of humor.
Q:Why do economic forecasters exist?
A: To make weather forecasters look good.
A: To prove they have a good sense of humor.
Q:Why do economic forecasters exist?
A: To make weather forecasters look good.
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
Loudness of thunder after lightning tells you how close you came to get hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
Loudness of thunder after lightning tells you how close you came to get hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
Democracy is like a fish market - it is smelly but
everyone likes to go there to haggle. – from Donaldson Tan
Newton's 1st law of motion: An object at rest (or in
motion) will remain at rest (in motion) unless an external force is applied on
it.
Revision of the 1st law: An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
Revision of the 1st law: An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
Newton's 2nd law of motion: The acceleration of a body is
directly proportional to and in the same direction as the force applied to it,
and inversely proportional to its mass.
Revision of the 2nd law: The acceleration of a wrong thing goes hand in hand with the weight of the person pushing it.
Revision of the 2nd law: The acceleration of a wrong thing goes hand in hand with the weight of the person pushing it.
Newton's 3rd law of motion: For every action, there is an
equal opposite reaction.
Revision to the 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Revision to the 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
(1) An earthworm has 5 hearts. An octopus has 3. A human
has only 1. Kaya pag nagmahal ka ng higit sa isa, i-Wikipedia mo na kung anong
hayop ka!
(2) Prof: Prove to me that this table does not exist.
Student: What table sir? (Prof and whole class: Nganga!)
Prof: OK, Uno. – both from Dennis Arroyo
(2) Prof: Prove to me that this table does not exist.
Student: What table sir? (Prof and whole class: Nganga!)
Prof: OK, Uno. – both from Dennis Arroyo
Q: Paano malaman kung ang earthworm ay lalaki or babae?
A: Pag kinain ng lalaking kalapati/pigeon ang earthworm, babae yon.
A: Pag kinain ng lalaking kalapati/pigeon ang earthworm, babae yon.
Q: Paano malaman kung lalaki or babae ang pigeon?
A: Sa sound. Kung lalaki, "Paturoook! Paturoook!" Kung babae, "Turoook mooo!"
Q: Ano sa tagalog ang women?
A: Kaming mga lalaki, we men.
A: Kaming mga lalaki, we men.
If a male judge makes sex, it's called Honorable
Discharge.
If a Congressman makes sex, it's called Congressional Insertion.
If a Congressman makes sex, it's called Congressional Insertion.
Chinese feng shui:
If MIRROR at stairs, swerte at grasya akyat.
If MIRROR at door, swerte at grasya pasok.
If MIRROR at ceiling, ikaw swerte, sa loob ka ng MOTEL.
If MIRROR at stairs, swerte at grasya akyat.
If MIRROR at door, swerte at grasya pasok.
If MIRROR at ceiling, ikaw swerte, sa loob ka ng MOTEL.
Man: Ikaw na naman? Tatlong beses mo na akong na-holdup
ngayong taon, ah!
Holdaper: Ganu'n talaga brod. Inaalagaan ang good customer!
Bisaya: Hulaan mo alaga kong hayop nagsimula sa liter I.
Alog: Isda? Bisaya: Dili man!
Alog: Ibon? Bisaya: Lapit na.
Alog: Ano nga, siret na! Bisaya: IGOL.
Holdaper: Ganu'n talaga brod. Inaalagaan ang good customer!
Bisaya: Hulaan mo alaga kong hayop nagsimula sa liter I.
Alog: Isda? Bisaya: Dili man!
Alog: Ibon? Bisaya: Lapit na.
Alog: Ano nga, siret na! Bisaya: IGOL.
Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ang gusto nyo,
magpalibing o magpa-cremate?
Ama: Ikaw na ang bahala, anak. I-surprise mo na lang ako.
Large signboard says: "ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY."
Nakita ng lasenggo... "So what?! Sino ba nagmamadali? "?
Ama: Ikaw na ang bahala, anak. I-surprise mo na lang ako.
Large signboard says: "ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY."
Nakita ng lasenggo... "So what?! Sino ba nagmamadali? "?
Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- PREGNANCY TEST
Hindi lahat ng positive ikina-sasaya- -HIV POSITIVE.
Panibagong sagot sa tanong na: "'musta lovelife?"
"Eto self supporting."
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- PREGNANCY TEST
Hindi lahat ng positive ikina-sasaya- -HIV POSITIVE.
Panibagong sagot sa tanong na: "'musta lovelife?"
"Eto self supporting."
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the
morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: Define ignorance and apathy.
A: I don't know and I don't care.
A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: Define ignorance and apathy.
A: I don't know and I don't care.
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See also:
Weekend Fun 41: Nancy Binay, Grace Poe, Other Politicians, May 25, 2013
Weekend Fun 42: Danny Purple, UP Diliman Character in the 70s, June 08, 2013
Weekend Fun 43: Tales from Narra Dorm, UP Diliman, June 22, 2013
Weekend Fun 44: Cow Economics, June 22, 2013