Weekend Fun 27: Physics Jokes

I have posted here  Weekend fun 15: Political jokes,  Weekend fun 21: Humor in global financial turmoil, Math jokes - Weekend fun 22: Functions and equations, and  Weekend fun 23: Economist Jokes, it's now time for physics jokes.

1. A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing electron report.
Police: "Haven't you just misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?"
Atom: "I'm positive."

2. A seminar on time travel will be held 2 weeks ago.

3. A rocket explorer named Wright
Once traveled much faster than light.
He sat out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

4. Gravity was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.

5. You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

6. When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

7. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.

8. To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

9. Isn't it meaningless to speak of a 45 degrees angle unless you specify Fahrenheit or Celcius?

10. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

11. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

12. Doppler effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.

13. Lenz's Law: Everything you start works against you.
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Meanwhile, here are some cheesy pick up lines, gathered from facebook, some I have invented myself (#s 4 to 10).

1. Facebook ka ba? Bakit? Kasi...LIKE kita eh.

2. Google ka ba? Bakit? Kasi...nasa sa iyo LAHAT NANG HINAHANAP ko.

3. Email ka ba? Bakit? Kasi ...gusto kong ma-ATTACH sa iyo.

4. Youtube ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto kitang panoorin palagi.

5. Twitter ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto kitang ma tweet tweet palagi.

6. Yahoo ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto kong sumigaw sa tuwa pag nakikita kita.

7. Hotmail ka ba? Bakit? Kasi I feel hot tuwing nakikita kita.

8. Linkedin ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto ko ma-link sa yo.

9. Wordpress ka ba? Bakit? Kasi I'm lost of words to say or press pag nakikita kita.

10. Google+ ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto kong magaya sa inyo ni Nonoy 0+.‎
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From Philip Baguisa:

Bangko (Bank) ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto kitang pasukin.

GMA 7 ka ba? Bakit? Kasi KAPUSO na kita

ABS-CBN 2 ka ba? Bakit? Kasi gusto kitang KAPAMILYA.

Girl: TV 5 ka ba? Suitor: Bakit? Kasi KAPATID lang ang tingin ko sa'yo (hehehe, BUSTED)
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See also:
Weekend fun 10: Gadhafi fashion, February 19, 2011
Weekend fun 11: More Gadhafi fashion, February 25, 2011
Weekend fun 12: Marcos corruption, February 25, 2011
Weekend fun 13: Economics of stimulus package, March 05, 2011
Weekend fun 14: Ghadafi's women bodyguards, March 05, 2011
Weekend fun 15: Political jokes, March 12, 2011
Weekend fun 16: Gaddafi cartoons, March 19, 2011
Weekend fun 17: Political jokes, May 15, 2011