A Lesson in Global Economics
Traditional Economics:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on your income.
Indian Economics:
You have two cows. You worship them.
Pakistani economics:
You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the Western world.
American economics:
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows and allege that that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war against that cow nation to save the world, and grab the cows.
French economics:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
German economics:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
British economics.
You have two cows. They are both mad cows.
Italian economics.
You have two cows. You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Swiss economics:
You have 5,00 cows. None of them are yours.
You charge others for storing them.
Japanese economics:
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow, and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
Russian economics:
You have two cows. You count them, and learn you have five cows.
You count them again, and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
Chinese economics:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high productivity.
Philippine economics:
You have two cows. One is white and one is black.
Actually the black one is not a cow -- it is a carabao.
But the person who sold it to you in Greenhills claimed it was an albino cow.
Traditional Economics:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on your income.
Indian Economics:
You have two cows. You worship them.
Pakistani economics:
You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the Western world.
American economics:
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows and allege that that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war against that cow nation to save the world, and grab the cows.
French economics:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
German economics:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
British economics.
You have two cows. They are both mad cows.
Italian economics.
You have two cows. You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Swiss economics:
You have 5,00 cows. None of them are yours.
You charge others for storing them.
Japanese economics:
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow, and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
Russian economics:
You have two cows. You count them, and learn you have five cows.
You count them again, and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
Chinese economics:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high productivity.
Philippine economics:
You have two cows. One is white and one is black.
Actually the black one is not a cow -- it is a carabao.
But the person who sold it to you in Greenhills claimed it was an albino cow.
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See also:
Weekend Fun 40: Bank Robbery and Management, May 18, 2013
Weekend Fun 41: Nancy Binay, Grace Poe, Other Politicians, May 25, 2013 Weekend Fun 42: Danny Purple, UP Diliman Character in the 70s, June 08, 2013
Weekend Fun 43: Tales from Narra Dorm, UP Diliman, June 22, 2013
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